Sometimes a long lost song plays in your head… you can't lose it. You lost it when you shouldn’t have, and now when you want to, you cant---it’s a strange thing.
I realize there are a lot of things “I cant”…like the control of strange on set of emotions that are completely random and out of order. Or possibly control the urge to do something that the head wants but the heart desires else.
So, the head wanted to see the social network…but the heart ended up being home and watching The Bands Visit (an amazing treat, nonetheless).
And then I also realized that one cant fight funny associations…like emptiness and the presence of luxury in your atmosphere…its true.
Pretty and expensive things can be empty or hollow at the least.
Sometimes the “cant’s” in life are like the foxes trying to outrun the hounds …just an attempt to escape the inevitable.
The cant’s sometimes feel friendly- as in the vein of manipulating confidence in the guise of being a friend. Now this “cant” friend is familiar for a long time- or from long ago…two different things for sure.
Importantly though, the bottom line with “cant” is that you make one mistake…and any other day wont matter.
I was reading this article by Aravind Adiga’s on Love and Loathing in Bombay..and yes it was a true to heart...a few things stayed with me, like the part when he talks about how at 16 when a boy lies down to sleep thinking “ when I wake up, I will be taller and stronger”….me - I’m on this trip everyday . There is always hope – a hope that when I close my eyes , I shall wake up happier, focused and smarter. A hope that may be I shall have all the answers I shall need.
Hope! Bah! Humbug!
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