And sometimes , somethings start to make sense.
I know the last couple of my notes have been so vague, but honestly…there is a lot of vague churning inside of me as well. The last few years have not been easy…seeing Dad’s health unravel and dealing with my own reasons for reasons ( why am I working the way I am working ? what am I giving priorities to ? why do I tend to run away from things ? do I need a tag ( that a Job, Corporation, Association gives me ) to identify myself ?).
While its easy to say the answers to all of the above is NO. but honestly its only by way of experience that I have realised…its indeed so. You just need to believe in yourself ( another one of those pithy sayings…but understood only with actual experience ).
The past few months - I have consciously tried to keep away from people and things that only added value of association…and no real sense of bonding. And the experience has been fulfilling. At the end of the day the only people who care at all- are those whom you matter to emotionally. And I am fine with that…you know its something akin to having your teeth cleaned…take away the tartar of ego…its “hurts” a bit ( and more after) …but you get along just fine in time…and with bright pearlies too !
Mindfulness, Reading and Contemplation are slowly taking much more space in my life…which just fine considering that I barely could fine time to breath in my previous avatar. Learning how to slowdown…at “ almost getting to 40” seems a bit late in the day…but its better to be late that never in Life.
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